Marriage & Communication

February 10, 2011 By
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I just read that it is national marriage week, so I’m going to write about my hubby and I, especially since Valentine’s Day in coming up.

We have been together for 9 years, married for 6. We have been through many ups and downs, joys, bumps in the road and still I find that I love him even more now! And it is such a JOY to think about where we were, where God has brought us, and to think about where God will bring us!

Back in 2003,  I made a profile on the knot.com and here are some of the things I wrote in purple: (it is so funny to look back on, excuse the grammar, I seem so young)

ABOUT RACHEL
Hello, I am 21 and grew up in the sunny state of Arizona. I decided to go to school in Tennessee, and now I am in my 3rd year studying to be an Elementary school teacher. I work and absolutely love the Cracker Barrel! I love eating!! It is one of the joys in life; I love decorating, writing letters, being with friends and family, taking pictures, and lots more!!
ABOUT JAKE
Jake is my boyfriend, well now I guess fiancé! YEAH! and we have been dating for 2 years. He is 24 and grew up in Cleveland, TN. Let me just tell you he enjoys his sports but they could never surpass me, just kidding!! He is studying to one day become a Chiropractor.
HOW WE MET
We met in January of 2002. I go to Lee University and I was going to a weekly Flames basketball game. I was not expecting to meet anyone, but I guess God had other plans for me. I caught Jakes eye and thought, hummm, that boy is CUTE and I told my roommate Sarah and my sister Amber about him. They suggested for me to go talk to him but I was too shy. I finally got brave after half time and I noticed they were sitting closer, only a few rows away. I turned to Jake knowing the answer was No, and said, “Do you guys go to Lee?” That was the spark of it all and now we are here. WOW!

WHEN WE GOT ENGAGED
December 26, 2003

HOW IT HAPPENED
Oh my gosh, I had NO clue. I went home for Christmas break thinking that I was not going to see Jake until I got back in Cleveland for the spring semester. Everyone asked why he wasn’t coming and I told them he had to work. I was sad of course, but I thought I was just going to have to stick it out. Little did I know that he had this whole thing planned out. That Day: It was the day after Christmas and my family and friends were getting ready to go to the Sand Dunes for the weekend. I had a package I wanted to send to Jake and his Mom, so my Mom said oh lets go send it and get some groceries. There were many clues I did not catch. We got the beautiful color roses I love and even a bridal magazine. We got home and my sister Amber said Jake FED EX’d you a package and its in the backyard but he wants you to call him first. I called him and saw a rose in a vase and a silver box. I went over to it and Jake answered the phone and I started opening it. and Jake said what do you think it is, and I said umm maybe a watch or jewelry and them I opened it. It was full of rose petals and I looked around in it and Jake said how much he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me and then he said, “Do you see me?” And I looked up on the balcony and he was there. I ran into the house and up the stairs and gave him a huge hug. Then he got on one knee and asked me to marry him and I said YES!!! I couldn’t believe it and while shaking all I could say was “not uh.” I could not believe everyone new and I was so excited to get to spend that weekend and our first New Years together.

WHEN & WHERE
July 10, 2004
Arizona

We were married on a HOT sunny day in the middle of an Arizona SUMMER.

What were we thinking????

I know his family was thinking, I am never coming back out here! just kidding!

After our wedding, the next week we celebrated our honeymoon in Mexico. Hoping one day to have another honeymoon on our 10 year anniversary.

MAYBE???

In the beginning of our marriage we had a lot of communication problems. (still do sometimes) It was hard to get use to living with someone. We didn’t know how to express our feeling or opinions without going overboard with emotions at times or holding things in until one of us boiled over.

Now, we try to communicate by being patient, being truthful, not acting on our anger and are willing to see the issue through each others eyes which is the hardest for me. And communication is something we will have to work on for the rest of our lives.

What the bible says? (here are some verses, although there are many)

  • Patience– James 1:19  says “be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry.”
  • Being truthful-Ephesians 4:25-27 “What this adds up to, then, is this: no more lies, no more pretense. Tell your neighbor the truth. In Christ’s body we’re all connected to each other, after all. When you lie to others, you end up lying to yourself. ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.” After all, anger is not a sin, it’s an emotion, but it can become a sin on how you react to the anger.
  • Empathy–  1 Peter 3:8 “Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with eachother. Love eachother as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted and keep a humble attitude.

I am going to work on communicating better in these areas this week! Below is a video I made a year and a half ago for my hubby on our 5th wedding anniversary. Hope you enjoy! If you would like to make your husband or someone special a FREE video, be sure to check out One True Media!

We now have been married for 2,406 days or 57,744 hours ! Love you Jake!

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Filed Under: Daily life, Marriage
About Rachel

Rachel is a mother to four children and a wife to a wellness doctor. Her passions are faith, family, and health. You can find her writing about her family adventures and inspiring you to make healthier choices for your family.

Comments

  1. melissa joanne says:
    February 11, 2011 at 11:21 am

    So sweet!
    Funny, I’m in the middle of a post about how my husband and I met. I guess love is in the air! 😉

  2. Rachel says:
    February 11, 2011 at 2:43 pm

    Thanks Melissa! And yes love is in the air!

  3. Lori T @ http://www.thetowells.com says:
    February 12, 2011 at 8:39 pm

    Wow, our stories are so similar. We’re from the south, known each other 10 years, got engaged Xmas break of 2003, got married in July of 2004, and we love the Lord. Anyway, thanks for your post to remind us to value communication.

  4. Rachel says:
    February 13, 2011 at 12:25 am

    Thanks Lori! Wow, our stories are similar! and we both have 2 kids.

  5. Shelby says:
    February 14, 2011 at 3:53 pm

    That was so wonderful! I thought I had written a story like this about my husband and I, but I looked back through my blog and I guess I never did! Maybe a project for our 7th Anniversary coming up in April. 🙂 Thanks for sharing! And, btw, that Ben Harper song, Beloved One, is our song!! We had a talented friend play/sing that song as the processional for just me at our wedding.