Going through Something I Never thought I’d have to… Again

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I’m Going through something I never thought I’d have to…again, yes I am losing another baby.

I’m sitting at the pharmacy as I write this, a place our family NEVER comes. Never once have I filled a prescription for my husband, my kids, or myself in the past 5 years. This is against everything I want to do!

However, it is an emergency since my baby, who is in heaven safe and sound, is an ectopic pregnancy and is life threatening to me if left untreated.

It is very hard for me to have to bring this drug back to the obgyn office in a few minutes to get injected with chemicals with who knows what side effects all to help remove the fetal tissue in my fallopian tube. This is a trial I never wanted.

Venting my sadness, confusion and anger. Which is very acceptable if you have ever been in my shoes. And crying as I walk through the Walgreen’s. Some how going through this I will get stronger and lean the the Lord even more than I ever have.

I do know there is an end to the sorrow, not to ever forget the baby I lost and the hurt that goes along with that but an end to the lasting pain, and the joy  and peace that only the Lord can only fill in my heart… If I let him and if you let Him of you are in some kind of sorrow.

He is our healer through all physical or emotional pain! I am NOT ALONE, He is with me! Here is a song that gives me comfort to know He will pick me up and catch me when I feel like I cannot go on and even through the pain that carries on in my heart, He is my HOPE!






“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” James 1:2-3
Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayer!  Praying that I grow in Him through this trial!

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About Rachel

Rachel is a mother to 2 children and a wife to a wellness doctor. Her passions are faith, family and health. She supports her husband in helping to change the way people look at their health and uses this blog as a tool to do that. You can find her writing about her family adventures and inspiring you to make healthier choices for your family.

Comments

  1. So sorry ~ may the Lord give you and your husband comfort and peace.

  2. Praying for you Rachel!! I pray the Lord wraps you in His comfort today!!!

  3. Oh Rachel. I feel that heavy deep burden inside as I read this. We can never make sense out of it except that it is what we must face living in this Fallen world and our God has more wisdom that we can ever possess. I will be praying for you and keeping your on my heart.

  4. I am so sorry for your loss. I will be praying for your family in my prayers.

  5. Oh Rachel, praying for you.

  6. Oh Rachel, I’m so sorry. I’m praying for you – may the physical process be gentle and swift, leaving no everlasting problems. May you feel the Lord carrying you right now.

    Grieving with you friend.

  7. Rachel…I am so sorry!! Our family will pray for you tonight. We have our own struggles over babies here. My heart goes out to you.

  8. My heart goes out to you, Rachel. Thank you for trusting your grief with us.

  9. Rachel, I’m so sorry! Praying for you and your family tonight.

  10. Oh Rachel, I am so very sorry that you are going through this again. I am praying for peace and strength and comfort. Thank you for sharing your pain so we know how to pray.

  11. So sorry sweet girl. Praying comfort for you.

  12. Anonymous says:

    Today I lost my baby! Today God gave me you to encourage me to be strong. My prayers are with you and your family.

  13. Praying that God’s PEACE and COMFORT will completely enclose you as you let him carry you through this hurting time!!

    In His Service,
    Ginny

  14. He will never leave you, He will continue to hold you up when you are down.
    My prayers and love will always be with you.
    My heart goes out to you, love you so much.
    Hugges until we see each other soon.
    Love you so much. And so so sorry.
    Sweet Jesus hold tight my sweet baby girl.
    Mommy

  15. My deepest prayers a with you. My Father in Heaven holds 8 of my precious babies in his arms. One of those sweet babies did not go to be with the Lord until I was seven months along. I still ache but rejoice when I remember my hope is in Him. We will hold them in Heaven and our Father will hold us until then. May He comfort you and renew you day by day until Jesus comes again to receive His own.

  16. I’m so sorry Rachel, so sad to hear your news. Hang in there.

  17. I am so so sorry- there are never the right words to say when one is losing a baby. It is heartbreaking. I myself have lost several and I still ache and it has been many years. Let God wrap his arms around you, comfort you, heal you and make you stronger

  18. I’m praying for your peace and comfort as you lean on God. He’s the only one that knows why and the only one that can get you thru, but you already know that. I’m sorry you have to go thru this.

  19. I am so sorry! This made me cry this morning, knowing you were in pain, walking through a Walgreens crying. We’ve been trying since November, but to no avail. I can’t imaging how it must feel to have the joy of knowing you are pregnant, and then to loose that. Something that I’ve been leaning on while we are in the midst of our own trials is to cling to God and read his word. Two scriptures that I’ve been clinging to are:
    Matthew 11:28-30:
    “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
    Also, I Peter 5:7:
    “Cast all your cares on the Lord, for he cares for you.”
    I am praying for you. Praying for peace for you and for the joy to come in the morning. I wish I could be near you, to just sit with you or do your dishes or whatever needs to be done. I don’t understand everything always, but I know that God is so good to me and he is so good to you. I am so sorry.

  20. Rachel, I am soo sorry for what you’re going through! I also experienced an ectopic pregnancy and was devastated. So many words of encouragement here and so many more to be found in the Word. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding…

    With prayers, ~Lisa

  21. Hi Rachel I’m sorry to hear about your loss. Me and my husband went through this painful experience as well when I lost 2 children back in 06. The sadness and the pain gets better with time but what got me through it was the peaceful thought of knowing my babies are with Jesus the most wonderful safest place they could be and he will take care of them in heaven until one beautiful day when we arrive to meet them. Accept the peace in knowing this and it will free your heart to be happy and smile when you think if your children they already know you bc Jesus has told them all about you;)
    *Come to me u who are weary and burdened and I will give thee rest….Stay strong and let me know if u need anything at all. Love your friend,
    Stacy Carleton

  22. So sad for you:( Praying for you this morning.

  23. Oh sweet girl. :-( Praying for you today…as I have been. I pray our Lord will shower you with comfort and love.

  24. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m praying for you. You are right to lean on the Lord, He will provide you strength and knows the plans He has for you.

    Nicole
    Working Kansas Homemaker (.com)

  25. So difficult. I hope you find comfort in God’s love at this time. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  26. I’m so sorry for your dear loss. May you find comfort in the Father. My prayers are with you!

  27. Praying peace for you in the arms of Christ

  28. Anonymous says:

    I am sorry for your loss and pain. I pray for your peace and rest in the comfort of our Father’s Love. “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” – Romans 8:28 (NLT)

  29. Praying for you and for God to give you comfort during this time. Sending hugs.

  30. I am so sorry for the loss of this child. I have just said a prayer for you, your husband, and your family.

  31. Praying for God’s grace to multiply as you walk through this trial.

  32. You and your family are in my thoughts…

  33. Anonymous says:

    So deeply sorry and saddened for your loss.
    Praying God comforts and sustains you
    Moment by moment.

  34. So sorry! I had a miscarriage a year ago. How is it we can love a baby we never saw,felt or even heard the heart beat of? Praying!

  35. I have lost 4 babies over the years. For each one I grieved for the potential that never was, I say that in the past tense but you never stop grieving but the pain does become less as time passes. I do not have your faith, but I envy you it and hope that it helps to ease the passing of your little one.

    You are in my thoughts

  36. Praying for you Rachel…my heart aches for you and your family. Praying to see God’s will through this time.

  37. penny thompson says:

    My heart goes out to you and your family. May was 27 years since I had my first loss of a sweet baby. Time has helped but I recall that day as if it were yesterday. I am so glad that we have a Father who can wrap His lovingly arms around us and give us comfort . Take care. Yes, we have that assurance that we will be together again some day.

  38. Dear Rachel, I am so, so sorry. My heart goes out to you, dear sister. I am feeling the grief alongside you. I will/am lifting you up right now that the Lord will keep you from harm and restore you to full health with NO side effects. I love that you are trusting more than ever!!
    Blessed is the man who puts his trust in the Lord!
    In Him,
    Jacqueline

Trackbacks

  1. [...] taken from the verse in James 1:2. No matter what you are going through (even if it’s hard or unimaginable) I want to encourage you that it’s part of your story, the story that the [...]

  2. [...] is), that His hands were in all of this. I want to capture my feeling and to let others going through this that they are not alone, the Lord is with [...]

  3. [...] the research has been done for you!  After a hard past year, with a miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy, I look forward to holding another baby in my arms. (in God’s timing!!)  Not only will I [...]

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