On Natural Birth, Hopes, and Expectations

Written by Jenn @ A Simple Haven, Contributing Writer
When I was pregnant with my first baby, I watched The Business of Being Born.  I read countless natural birth stories.  I hired a doula and wrote a birth plan.  I made seven copies, ready to distribute to the nurses.

I bought a birth ball and other birth paraphernalia. I braced myself for 12+ hours of labor, an overdue baby, drug-pushing hospital staff, and laboring on little sleep–all likely outcomes, according to my research.

On a beautiful spring morning, I woke up to a contraction. Four hours later, I was holding my tiny daughter.  She was ten days early and nearly met the world in the front seat of our car.

Labor was so fast and intense that I forgot my pretty little folder of birth plans.

My doula barely made it to the hospital, but she and a wonderful nurse coached me through about ten minutes of pushing, which constituted half my time in the delivery room.

Needless to say, it was not what I expected.

My second baby was born over three weeks early and a few weeks after we’d moved across the country.  Despite my fervent desire not to have a Christmas baby, he was born an hour and a half shy of Christmas Eve.

Just in time for my daughter to have to spend Christmas with the sweet family who was watching her. Who we’d just met.

I have friend who is a big advocate for natural birth, but had to have one baby via c-section and requested an epidural after an exhausting 20+ hours of labor with the other.

Another friend has babies who flip to breech in the final weeks of labor.  Another had zero intention of having an unmedicated birth but showed up too late for the epidural. Another delivered her first on his due date–a rare feat–and her second came out en caul.

Like the rest of life, labor and deliver is full of surprises.

That’s why I’m convinced that the best approach to birth is to surrender my expectations.

I can have hopes, preferences, and desires.  I can communicate these to my husband, doctor, midwife, or doula.

But at the end of the day, I have to hold all of this with an open hand, trusting that God loves me and will work all things together for my good.

Even the surprises.  Especially the surprises.

I didn’t feel prepared for my daughter’s early and rapid delivery, but I’m so grateful for the kindness of the nurse and my doula. (And that my husband paid enough attention in birthing classes to know when we needed to go to the hospital).

I never would have planned to have a baby just after moving to a new town. But I saw God provide for our every need amidst crazy circumstances.

My midwife friend didn’t want a c-section, but now she’s grateful that she can better empathize with women who need them.

I often try to control circumstances to bring about what I imagine is best.  But remembering how God has worked in unexpected situations gives me more confidence to trust Him–in birthing babies and in the rest of life.

Have you seen grace in the midst of the unexpected lately?