Simple, Intentional Encouragement

Written by Jenn @ A Simple Haven, Contributing Writer

One of my goals for 2014 is to speak the words of encouragement I think but often neglect to say: what I love about a friend, what I appreciate about my husband and kids, a note of thanks for kindness rendered or a note of sympathy for a friend going through a hard season.

I know words are powerful. The Bible even says they even have the power of life and death.

I’ve experienced that power, for better and worse. And I’ve seen relationships transformed by words of forgiveness instead of bitterness, words of mercy instead of judgement.

I think I just forget the impact words can have for good. And so I put off writing that note, sharing those words.

But, I’ve resolved: not this year.

This year, I want to restore words of encouragement to their rightful place of priority in my life. I know it will take extra effort and some helpful systems–and that I’ll never say or do it all perfectly.

But I figure any steps in the right direction are good.

Simple Steps Toward the Habit of Encouragement:

Do It Before You Forget

I want to write that note before I forget, make that phone call before the day gets crazy–or even while the day is crazy. And if I can’t do it right away, I’ll at least make a note to do it as soon as I can.

I’ve got a running list in my phone called “good deeds.” The title might sound a little hokey, but it’s doing its job.

I add to it whenever I think of a friend I need to check in with, a note I want to send, or a way I might help. At the beginning of each week, I check the list and see what I could add to that week’s to-dos.

Keep it Simple

If something feels hard or I imagine it will take a long time, I tend to put it off. But I’ve realized that words of encouragement don’t have to be fancy or drawn out.

They just need to be honest and…encouraging. (Profound, yes?)

It can be a quick text, a two sentence email, or a brief Facebook post. It can be a short phone call to check on a hurting friend while your kids are eating breakfast. It can be done as you pass your neighbor on the sidewalk.

Broaden Your Scope

Sometimes, the folks who need a kind word the most are the ones you don’t even know well. Your veterinarian, the nurse at your doctor’s office, the mom with her kids at Target, the postal worker, the tech guy who helps you with your blog.

You might be swimming upstream against culture to strike up a conversation, but a hello and genuine interest shown in their life might be exactly what they need.

Include the Kids

Often, the only time I have to do any of this is when the kids are awake, so I’ve been trying to include them as much as possible. Many of our Christmas thank-yous were a joint effort; my almost four year old (mostly) dictated the notes, I wrote them, then she “decorated” the cards.

Yes, it takes longer this way. But I think she’ll learn the habit best by watching and doing it with me. You can also take a look at these free printables for littles.

Don’t Worry About Results

After you’ve shared what you hoped was an encouraging word or two, don’t worry about the results. Maybe the other person will be deeply touched, maybe not.

Our job is just to share love, in words and deeds; the results are out of our hands.

I may never know if my words have any great impact, but then maybe it’s more about me learning the habit of speaking them.