Seeing the Death of Jesus Through the Loss of a Child

 

Written by Karli @ Feed Me Mama, Contributing Writer

About 18 months ago, I lost my first baby. We had been trying to get pregnant for about a year, and we were completely and utterly shocked when our first ultrasound revealed that there was no heartbeat. Devastated doesn’t begin to convey the roller coaster of emotions that swept my family in the coming months. I couldn’t image a good reason for this pain- what would the Lord do with this loss? Could he be glorified in the midst of my sorrow? I had so many questions swirling in my mind…

Many years ago, a woman named Mary lost her beloved first son. Her situation was very different from mine- she wasn’t trying to get pregnant, and her entire relationship and parenting of this son was full of trial and questioning from those around her. But she loved her son with the desperate love of a mother, and watched Him die a horrific death that he didn’t deserve- a death that was meant for the worst of criminals, though he was found faultless.

Can you imagine Mary’s pain on this day? Watching your innocent child die a death they don’t deserve? Maybe, like me, you know a little bit of what that pain feels like. Maybe you’ve had to grieve the loss of a child before- whether a miscarriage, an infant, or an older son or daughter. The pain is the same- there are no words.

As we reflect on Easter, and contemplate the heart of Mary, we can take great comfort in the way that the source of Mary’s personal grief and sorrow, the death of her beloved son, was used for the advancement of the Kingdom of God. Just as the death of Jesus was used by the Father for the ultimate good of all humanity, so will He use the loss of my baby for the advancement of His Kingdom.

Does it still hurt? Yes, it does. I am sure that Mary went through an intense time of grief after seeing her son die in such a gruesome manner.

Am I allowed to be angry? Sure. The loss of a child at any point is devastating. It doesn’t seem fair to anyone- just as the death of Jesus wasn’t fair at all.

If you and your family have experienced a loss, know that you are not alone. You grieve the same grief of Mary, and so many other mothers before and since. The beauty of how the Lord works is that, even through our pain, we can have hope through our grief. We can know that the Lord is working, because he uses even the worst pain, even the most unfair of situations, for His glory.

What did you take comfort in during a time of grief?