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Written by Karli @ Feed Me Mama, Contributing Writer
This month, we are focusing on loving others well. Having just given birth to my daughter last month (our first!), it became very apparent to me that one of my biggest priorities is to be intentional with my love for my husband- especially now that there’s another little life in our family!
The Lord called me to be his wife first, and my daughter’s mother second. I want to share with you some easy but meaningful ways to show your husband love everyday, but particularly if you’ve got a newborn in the house.
Speak your gratitude to him often.
Communicating your love and thankfulness is so important, and coming right out and saying it is about as easy as it gets! Whether your husband is home helping you or out working and providing for your growing family, make it a priority to know that you appreciate everything he does for you and your little one.
Be specific, too- if he is picking up extra hours to bring in more money, or if he made a special trip to the grocery store, make sure he knows that those extra efforts are blessing you. Be an encouragement to him.
Stay connected to him.
One of the hardest days for me was when my husband went back to work- and I know that this was a really hard day for him, too. Staying connected throughout the day- a phone call on his lunch break, sending him a photo of the baby in the afternoon- helps to close that distance. Taking the time to talk through your day with one another in the evening is important, too- you can quickly feel like you are leading separate lives, but good communication can prevent that.
Encourage others to think of him, too.
So often your community will focus on you as the mother- helping you with chores, cooking your favorite meal, letting you get a shower, etc. When people ask you what you need or what they can do, think about what might bless your husband, too!
A good example of this is meals- if someone asks you for a suggestion of what they can cook for you, tell them his favorite meal. Perhaps the trash or recycling needs to be taken out, or the oil needs to be changed in the car. Bless him by taking some responsibilities off of his shoulders- he will be so happy!
Pray for him.
Days (and nights) with a newborn afford us much time to think and pray- particularly while nursing or feeding the baby. Take this time to pray for your husband- strength and health for his body, clarity and wisdom in his workplace, intimacy and grace in his relationship with the Lord. Pray over your marriage, particularly in this hectic time- that he has the boldness to lead your family well, and that you are a graceful, Christlike helpmate to him even when you may not feel like it!
Even on days when you feel like you don’t have a moment to spare for yourself, remember the first ministry the Lord placed you in: your marriage. It’s very hard (take it from me!) but may we always seek to glorify the Lord by loving our husbands well!
What ways have you found to bless your husband on a daily basis, even when life is chaotic? Have you found good ways to stay connected to him in those times? Share with us in the comments!
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With Thanksgiving around the corner, many of us turn our hearts towards gratitude. We focus on being thankful for our loved ones, perhaps our home, or the food on our plate. It’s a wonderful time!
However, have you noticed how hard it is to keep that heart of gratitude year round? When turkey, mashed potatoes, and dressing are a thought from the past, it is so easy to get caught up in the unthankfulness of the world! But after all that God has done for us, shouldn’t we do our part to cultivate a heart of gratitude in this unthankful world every day of our lives? I think so!
A Tiny Home and Ma Ingalls
Years ago, I learned a very real lesson in thankfulness and contentment. My husband and I found ourselves stuck in a tiny, two-bedroom house that lost 40% of its value since we bought it. We were expecting our third baby and seemed to see no way out of this teeny piece of real estate. When I looked at our situation, I simply couldn’t believe that God would allow us to be stuck there when my husband and I had dedicated our lives to serving Him!
(Psst. Did you catch that? Yep, I had some pretty wrong thinking. God doesn’t owe us anything!)
Around that time I started doing some gentle homeschooling, and part of it was reading out loud to my children. Having never read Little House on the Prairie, that was one of my first choices, and Ma Ingalls became my hero.
I read about Ma cooking over a fire with a couple of pans. Hauling water from a stream to wash dishes. Making beds in the back of a wagon and laying washed bedding out on the prairie grasses to dry. Wearing the same dress every. single. day.
Then I looked at my closet kitchen and saw hot water that I didn’t have to heat, an oven that didn’t require a fire, and a refrigerator full of perishable foods kept cold. I saw my washing machine and dryer that cleaned my clothes with a turn of a knob. I heard the furnace kick on with no effort on my part.
And I realized that I had been extremely unthankful.
Changing My Thoughts to Thankful Ones
Once I realized how ungrateful I had been, I made efforts to become more thankful.
- When I ran into the open oven door in our small kitchen, I thanked the Lord that I could freely cook and bake without having to start a fire.
- When I felt trapped inside a small house, I thanked Him for plumbing, sanitation, and hot water.
- When I started to wonder if we’d ever get out, I thanked God for the multitude of comforts that our home afforded, like a love seat, warm bed, and bookshelves.
I also realized that I needed to repent for being so ungrateful for the many blessings God had given us in our small home, and also for allowing thoughts of entitlement to take root in my mind. Ma Ingalls woke me up to just how good God had been to us, even in our little house!
Choosing a Heart of Gratitude
In hard times, and sometimes in every day life, it can be a challenge to keep a heart of gratitude. I would guess that for most of us, it does’t come naturally. Rather, by nature, we are selfish and sinful, and we need the Lord to shape our hearts and minds into grateful ones.
How can we cultivate a heart of gratitude in an unthankful world?
- Find something to be thankful for in life’s inconveniences. Stuck in traffic? Thank God for a working vehicle! Appliance break? Thank God for all the times it has worked! Up late with a teething baby? Thank God that your child is otherwise healthy!
- Get a bigger perspective. When we take a step back, many of our first-world problems pale in comparison to the challenges faced by those in less developed countries. How many of us have clean water, working plumbing, ample foods, heated homes, and access to basic medical care? We are incredibly wealthy!
- Put it on paper. Do you know the little song that goes “Count your blessings, name them one by one! Count your blessings, see what God has done!” When I started to list out the innumerable blessings God had given us in our little home, I felt so ashamed tat I had been so ungrateful! Forcing ourselves to recognize the blessings we take for granted can do much to cultivate thankfulness!
Do you find that you have to make efforts to be thankful? Have you learned a lesson in gratefulness like I did?
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