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Written by Courtney @ A + Life (originally published in April of 2015)
My Natural Birth Plans
I don’t have plans to take these to the hospital with me. I’m not going to be the girl who shows up with a bullet point, high lighted, step by step birth plan….. mostly because my plans are “hands off, please”. But, that’s easy enough to say, and not necessary to be printed out on a piece of paper.
I remember when I got pregnant with my first daughter, Abigail. Even though it had taken us a year to get pregnant with her, I was still fairly blissfully naive when it came to all things baby. First time parent, ah quite youthful, and just a bit uninformed. It was well into my 6th month or so, I was almost in third tri, when I was in Virginia to be a bridesmaid for one of my very best friends. We all got to talking about labor and delivery, and up to that point, I had planned to do whatever my Dr. told me and OBVIOUSLY get the epidural. Mostly, because I just hadn’t given it much thought. But the more we talked, and more and more of the women shared their stories about home birth, zero interventions, refusing induction and epidurals, the more I got to thinking….perhaps I should do some research myself?
Keep in mind that this was 2010, so it was basically the technological dark ages.
I got my hands on a copy of Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth and it completely revolutionized the way I thought about childbirth. From that point on, I knew that I was going to have a intervention free delivery and made all of my plans based off of that choice.
And if the years of praying and waiting for our second gift, Mabel, and the years of being a mama and taking care of a little one have done anything for me, it has been this: the pendulum of “crunch factor” has way swung and I only continue to up the ante on myself as I have choices.
The first time I read Ina May I totally, totally got her points. They made absolute sense to me, but I was like, DANG these people are weird as all get out. But rereading it this time around? I’m like, how can I get to “The Farm”(her “commune” for those of you who aren’t familiar with her) and live in a cabin and give birth there. Like, today. So, as I’ve said, it’s fairly obvious to see that I’ve continued down the all natural road and have no plans of putting the brakes on it anytime soon.
So, here is what I am already doing:
(This is all from consultations and advice from my naturopath)
- Prenatal + Iron
- Vitamin B Supplement
- Vitamin D Supplement
- Probiotic
- Tons of water
- Sitting on the birthing ball for a few minutes every evening
- Rereading my birthing books(bonus if it’s while I’m on the birthing ball!)
- Drinking Red Raspberry Leaf Tea
- And I’m starting to select birth affirmations and bible verses to start meditating on to prepare my heart and mind for labor and delivery.
The Plans For Me:
- Refusal of all pre-labor cervical checks
- Refuse any and all induction- obviously, to a reasonable extent. My first daughter, Abigail came on her due date, so I have no reason to think that this should be an issue. But, I’m perfectly ready to go up to 42 weeks if Mabel needs it.
- Once labor begins, labor at home for as long as possible. On the birthing ball, in the tub, eating and drinking, staying calm and composed.
- Once labor progresses to the point where we think it is wise to head to the hospital, then we will head that way.
- Once at the hospital, no IV(will concede to a heplock), no constant fetal monitoring(if possible), and laboring how it feels best.
- And that is basically it! I ended up wanting to push while reclining, that felt the most comfortable to me and my water didn’t break until completion so those were two non-issues last time that I hope will be the same again.
I mostly just want to be left to labor with Jim, my Mom, and my good friend who is a doula.
For Mabel:
To me, this is the section with the biggest changes from my previous delivery. I didn’t do a ton of research as far as what baby goes through and what the standard procedures are in the hospital after baby is born with Abigail. Obviously, it all turned out just fine, but there are certainly things I want to do differently this time around.
After Mabel is delivered, if all is well:
- I want her to be immediately placed on my chest for skin to skin and nursing.
- Delayed cord clamping
- Delayed bath
- Refusal of eye ointment
- Delaying the Hep B shot until a later pediatrician appointment
- Requesting that any and all checks, vitamin K shot, or other things be delayed until after the first nursing session or while she is on my chest.
- If possible, not use pitocin to expel the placenta and let it deliver when it is ready.
- And of course, keeping Mabel in the room with us at all times. Jim can go with her if they need to take her anywhere.
I’ve had a few different talks with my OB about my plans and she has been nothing but sweet and understanding about my ideas. Thankfully, I am a 100% low risk, textbook patient, so there isn’t any reason to worry much about how things will go. She also delivered Abigail and is aware of my previous labor and delivery, which I think helps keep our communication open. The hospital where I had Abigail has since closed it’s birthing center, but a brand new hospital just opened in March, so I should be using all new state of the art equipment and have been told that their birthing rooms are very similar to my previous experience(labor, deliver, recover all in the same room + room in with baby).
As my OB and I talked through my “plans” she just suggested that anything I say to the nurses about my desires to preface it with “Dr. B and I have already discussed this and she is aware of my wishes” or if she is present, just have Jim or my doula remind her of my plans(such as delayed cord clamping) so that we can achieve a great birth together.
So, at this point, in these last few weeks of waiting, I’m really just trying to prepare my heart and mind for what is coming. With Abigail, I was fiercely determined. And not so much nervous. This time, I feel anxious and scared because I can remember it hurting so badly. But, I know that it is what is best for me and for Mabel and I’m happy to choose it and do it the same way as I did with Abigail. I just need to get my head in the game before hand!
One verse that has particularly stood out to me that I have been memorizing in preparation for her delivery is a verse that showed up during this semester’s ladies bible study(we’re studying 1st and 2nd Thessalonians):
“We give thanks to God always for you all, constantly mentioning you in our prayers, remembering before our God and Father your work of faith and labor of love and steadfastness of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ. For we know, brethren beloved by God, that He has chosen you.” 1 Thessalonians 1: 2-4
Did you have a birth plan? What did it look like?
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Tomorrow is one month since I gave birth to my son.
Except it was not the joy-through-pain experience that I have had three times before. This time my baby was born stillborn at twenty-two weeks. Wholly unexpected and wholly devastating.
We have experienced a lot of emotions over the past month, of course. Our children are young, so they can switch from being sad their brother is gone to waging transformer battles in the living room rather easily. But the grief is still fresh for my husband and me.
Last week, our family was blessed to have the opportunity to spend a week in a cabin in the mountains.
There was no connecting with the outside world in the cabin, there was minimal housework to be done, and two days before our trip I had cooked or prepped all of our food for the entire week. Furthermore, our cabin was atop the steepest driveway I’ve had the pleasure struggle to walk up, so leaving the cabin by foot wasn’t something I wanted to do more than once a day.
All this time without responsibilities and distractions left us with a lot of time to read. My husband and I read MANY books out loud to our kids. We also read many books early in the morning before our kids woke, during the day while they played, and in the evening after bedtime routines and chatting with each other. (No television, no cell service, no wi-fi, remember?).
The week turned out to be as restorative as we had hoped it would be. So much quiet and so many good books were balm to our grieving hearts and minds.
Reading While You Grieve
These are the books and words in which I have personally found comfort, rest, and help. This list is no where near exhaustive, but hopefully it will give you an idea of what to turn to during hard days of grief. I would also recommend each of these as a thoughtful gift idea for a friend or family member you know is going through a difficult time. Please just remember to tell the recipient that there is no expectation for what she does with the book. Each person grieves according to her own timetable and some of these books are better at different times.
1. Hymns
During the early days, the first couple of weeks, after my son passed away I did not do much reading. The pain was too fresh and I was too weary from the shock and the tears. I honestly did not even feel like reading my Bible much. Truly, I didn’t touch many books, if any.
What was helpful, though, were hymns. Listening to music rich with truth and sweet comfort was a gift. I could easily turn on an album of hymns and feel like I was being pointed to God and washed over with His grace and mercy.
I have been known to just sit down with my mom’s old hymnal and just read hymns. You should try it.
If you don’t have a hymnal at home (or for the times I just don’t want to get it out), I use this online hymnal. It’s also a part of my favorite band‘s website, so you can listen to most of the hymns there too.
2. The Bible
Eventually, I did begin to open the Bible again early in the morning with a cup of strong black coffee and my journal and pen. While reading was hard initially, turning to God’s word is essential to finding true and lasting hope, comfort, and perspective.
The Psalms, of course, are a great place to start. I am also reading through the book of Job and planning to use commentary on Job
3. Streams in the Desert
A dear friend of mine who also lost her baby too early gifted me with this book. Before she gave me the book, though, she sat with me for hours and sipped coffee while we shared tears, stories, and laughter. Both the time and the book were priceless gifts.
Streams in the Desert was written by a lady who cared for her dying husband for years. She knows grief. The devotional is full of daily passages, each offering a five minute reading of Biblical comfort.
4. The Hardest Peace
I would recommend this book to EVERYONE, whether you are currently grieving or not.
Kara Tippetts was a mother of four who battled cancer in many forms over and over and over again. She graciously shared her story on her blog and then in this book. It is a story of struggle, of hard things, and of MUCH GRACE. Her words drip with kindness and wisdom and there is so much that we can all glean.
It is a life-changing book. It was also one of the most helpful books I have read in my grief. A harmony of beauty and pain.
5. Anchored: Finding Hope in the Unexpected
I purchased this book just hours after we saw the heartbreaking ultrasound’s stillness. I had heard of the book and listened to the author (Kayla Aimee) share her story of how her daughter was born unexpectedly at twenty-five weeks on several podcasts.
I knew it was one I wanted to read and thought that her story would be helpful in the midst of mine. But Kayla’s story is one that ended in life, and at first this was too hard for me to read.
Last week in the mountains, though, I did read her story. And I’m so glad I did.
Kayla went through months of grief and despair as she watched her tiny daughter suffer and fight for life. All the while Kayla was suffering and fighting for faith. Her battle to trust God in the hardest time of her life and her discovery that no matter what, God would remain faithful, was exactly what I needed to read.
I truly hope that one or more of these books is helpful to you. If you are in a season of grief, I wish I could cry together with you and listen to your story or simply to the quiet if words are hard to come by. Most of all, I hope that you are able to find true comfort and rest in the Father of all comfort and in Jesus, the One who knows the deepest grief and pain and who can walk alongside us in ours.
Is there a book that you would recommend that has been helpful during a difficult time in your life?
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I’m not sure if introverted self explains it, but the comparison trap, am I good enough, I’m too shy, have so much to do at home, whatever the excuse is. Holding back, not taking a risk.
We were busy, starting a business, kids starting preschool, then on into elementary school. Encountering pregnancy loss, waiting, then pregnancy, moving into our first home, birthing a beautiful baby girl, adjusting to her and everything else that goes along with that.
Lincoln, then 3 now 8, working on preschool pages
Early during that busy phase I tried and love MOPS but along the way the meeting day didn’t work out with our homeschool day and work and having a baby and I began to feel myself shift into the homebody, introvert self again.
The deep need we all have for relationship was filled in some ways but other ways is was lacking. I had been feeling a little alone in the motherhood journey. Probably as I had felt the 5 to 6 years ago when I started a moms group in a town I had just moved to with a 10 month old and 2 year old. I remember looking for a group, not finding one, and created one, that surprisingly is still going on in that town.
Five years ago, it wasn’t just about the kids having fun, but the moms too
Kids got older and the need was less, but now with a toddler and another baby the way, I have been feeling the need to connect with other moms growing strong again. The NEED for interaction with other adults, other moms. It’s real. And feeling alone in motherhood (in real life) is hard.
I mean I know a lot of people. Have a great church, a wonderful husband. And know lots of people online and through my blog, but it cannot replace interaction, face to face with other moms when you’re in a season of motherhood with littles.
I finally got brave again, although I almost chickened out and I visited a local moms group. It had been stirring in my heart and I got the nudge I needed to do it. It felt reviving. Like I’m not the only one going through x, y or z. That my input matters. I was running late, and as I walked in, it was my turn to introduce myself, I apologized for being late and one gal said, “Hunny, we’re all late!” It made me feel like I was not alone.
Was I nervous, you bet ya… But opening that introvert shell is helping my need for relationship with other moms. It’ll take time, just as it did when my first two kids were young to build relationships but looking forward to building some new lasting friendships. Having a mom friend to count on, to talk with, to have a shoulder to cry on or to encourage another mom walking through something I have been through.
No, none of this can replace the hole we all have, that only Jesus can fill. We need to be in relationship with Him. But the best part is that He models friendship to us, all over scripture you find Jesus in relationship with the disciples, and then specifically with a couple of them he got ever closer with. They were building friendships.
He wants us in relationships with others… and that includes us moms!
I look forward to this next season of motherhood. Breaking out of my shell and building friendships, in real life, with other moms.
Do you have a need to have “Mommy” friends? Do you ever feel nervous about meeting other moms?
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Written by Allie @ The Purposeful Housewife, Contributing Writer
*Please meet Allie, she’s a new contributor here. I hope you’ll leave a comment on how you relate to organization.
Over the past year, I have had to become a more organized person. When you have three kids in three years, a marriage and household to run, you sort of get forced into things that don’t always match your personality. I’ve had to stop whining and just accept that my life calls for some organization. I started making “rules” for myself like no more going to bed without doing a thirty minute clean up, not letting the kids go to bed until they’ve picked up their toys, and wiping the counters and kitchen floor after every meal. It just helps keep things running somewhat smoothly.
“The days are long but the years are short.” -Gretchen Rubin
What are your thoughts about being organized with littles?
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Written by Jenn @ A Simple Haven, Contributing Writer
Survival mode. It doesn’t sound particularly enticing, does it?
It seems to be the antithesis of living intentionally, toward your goals and in line with your values. It sounds like just getting by. And who wants to do that? Not me.
And yet, survival mode is where I find myself.
In a season of being newly pregnant and feeling yuck, with my husband in summer school and working longer hours + traveling more than usual, I am just trying to keep everyone alive here, folks.
Because this is my third pregnancy, I know a little about what to expect. For me, the nausea and exhaustion eventually subsides. Before too long, summer classes will be over and Hubs’s travel will slow down a bit.
Thankfully, there is an end in sight. But until then, I am lowering my expectations of myself, reassessing what’s necessary, and giving myself permission to just get by for now.
In fact, that’s how I’m going to define survival mode: Adjusting expectations and doing only what’s necessary for myself and my family amidst a challenging season.
As a recovering perfectionist, here’s what’s helped me be ok with that.
Why Survival Mode is Ok (and How it’s Working for Me)
Why It’s Ok:
Life is Full of Challenging Circumstances
My current challenges involve the first trimester of pregnancy and an unusual amount of solo parenting, but a myriad of circumstances may cause you to choose survival mode for a time.
Maybe it’s a busy season at work, a husband who is traveling frequently, adjusting to adding another child to the family, or having one or more sick kids.
In any case, new challenges require a reassessment of routines and expectations in the home. And depending on how long the challenging season lasts and how long it takes you to figure out a new “normal”, a time of survival mode might just be your ticket to, well, surviving.
We All Have Limits
I am one person; I can only do so much. Yes, through the power of Jesus, I can often do much more than I would have thought.
But is it reasonable to expect the same things of myself when I’m sick and pregnant as when I’m well? Probably not.
It’s Only for a Season
This is what I have to tell myself to make me ok with operating in survival mode. It’s not ideal, but it’s also not forever. Frozen pizzas and extra TV time is not the best, but I know it won’t characterize my kids’ childhood.
How It’s Working For Me:
I’ve Decided What’s Essential
And it’s feeding and clothing myself and my family. That’s it. Meal prep and laundry are pretty much my daily goals.
As food prep makes me nauseous and my daughter changes clothes six times a day, I consider meeting these goals quite the feat.
I’m Saying Yes to Help
While I used to struggle with asking for and accepting help, I’ve been so grateful for friends who have offered it over the last few weeks. From watching my kids so I could go to the doctor alone to bringing me pregnancy survival kits to time spent praying for little baby, I am so glad to have such a sweet community of support.
And what I’m saying no to? Extras.
Like trying to take the kids to the pool by myself, making fabulous dinners (more often, dinner is an odd assortment of snacky foods), or hosting company (as much as I love it, I’m mostly saving it for the second and third trimesters).
I’m Maximizing My Functional Moments
Most days, I do have a few hours where I feel functional. So I have a short list of chores, phone calls, errands, or other tasks that I try to tackle during those times.
I also try to prioritize getting the kids outside or to see friends when I can. Often, seeing other people (and getting away from my kitchen and all. the. smells.) boosts my mood and helps me forget how I’m feeling.
I’m Talking Things Through With My Husband
Hubs is very aware of his wife’s current state (hopefully, I’m explaining rather than complaining :)). But sometimes, he needs me to be really explicit about what I can and can’t manage to do right now. So we’ve had some good talks about reasonable expectations for meals, housework, and the budget.
This past month, we tried out a monthly housekeeping service and used a chunk of our grocery budget for eating out. While he prefers a tidy home (as do I), he’s giving me lots of grace when there are no clean towels.
I’m choosing to trust God. (Most of the time).
I could go completely crazy worrying about how on earth I’m going to schlep around Canada for two weeks during my first trimester. Or what I’m going to do the next time Hubs is away. Or for that matter, how I’m going to manage bedtime duty tonight by myself.
So instead, I try to focus on all the times God has provided strength, help, or encouragement in the past. And on promises about His faithfulness and provision. Help often comes in ways I wouldn’t have expected, but it’s always there.
How do you manage a challenging season of life?
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Written by Kristen @ Smithspirations, Contributing Writer
Like many moms, I don’t think I’ll ever forget my first pregnancy. My husband and I were young and utterly unprepared for what laid ahead of us! I was finishing up college, he was in his first year teaching, and neither of us gave much thought to preparing for birth.
I decided at some point that I wanted us to go to the childbirth classes held at our local hospital, and my hubby dutifully came along. We listened to the instructor talk about the birth process, potential complications, and likely interventions while wrapping things up with various breathing techniques.
After the class ended, I didn’t feel ready for birth, but at least I felt like I did something to try to prepare for the natural birth I thought I wanted. My husband was far less impressed.
It wasn’t until after my induced & medicated birth that I realized how incredibly unprepared I really was for the birth process, despite my faithful attendance and attention at the hospital class. I realized too late that I needed to do much more to educate myself about the process if I wanted to have a positive birth experience.
When we were expecting the second time, I knew I wanted something different. I didn’t want to be hooked up to all sorts of machines and have an internal fetal monitor inserted into my baby’s scalp unless there was a serious reason for it. I needed to figure out what it took to have an unmedicated birth, and I went to reading! What a difference that made!
Why Educate Yourself For Birth?
All too often, we are prone to simply take one healthcare provider’s recommendations without asking questions. We tend to forfeit our patient rights and responsibilities and simply go with procedure and protocol when we aren’t armed with information.
When we invest the time into educating ourselves about God’s awesome and amazing design for birth, we can trust our bodies to do what they need to do in order to bring forth a new life. Rather than think about pregnancy as a risky condition and our bodies as dysfunctional, we can have confidence in the birthing process.
Sometimes things go differently during birth than we thought they would. Medical intervention is at times crucial to a positive outcome for mom and baby. When we are educated ahead of time, we can ask questions, weigh the risks, and make a more informed choice on suggested procedures.
What To Consider When Educating Yourself
There are so many questions to consider when you are expecting a new baby! This list is by no means exhaustive, but rather a springboard.
For Pregnancy:
- What is an ideal diet for pregnancy?
- What exercises help with common pregnancy complaints?
- What can be done to prepare your body for labor?
- What supplements are most helpful during pregnancy?
For Birth:
- What birth place options are available to you? Home? Birth center? Hospital?
- What pain management options are there? Medication? Water? Music? What risks do they carry?
- What are the benefits and risks of eating and drinking during labor?
- What positions and movements help or hinder labor?
For After Delivery
- What are the risks and benefits of typical newborn procedures, like eye ointment, Vitamin K shots, and Hepatitis B vaccines?
- What are the risks and benefits of circumcision (for boys)?
- What can be done to best facilitate breastfeeding in the early moments after birth?
- What pain relief options are best for afterpains after delivery?
How to Educate Yourself
There are many options when it comes to becoming more informed with pregnancy and birth. Some options will provide more reliable and up to date information than others.
- Online resources can be a great place to start, but be cautious about getting all of your information from the web.
- Books were a great help to me when I started to educate myself. I read books by well-respected and experienced figures in the natural birth world (like Dr. Bradley and Ina May Gaskin) and gained confidence because of it.
- Childbirth classes can be a great experience, too! Though my first class experience was far from beneficial, I later attended one held by my home birth midwife and greatly benefited. Ask the instructor about the class outline to know if it will be a good fit. Local doulas and breastfeeding support groups may also have suggestions.
Did you feel well-educated when you went through labor and delivery? Was there something you read, watched, or attended that helped you feel informed?
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By Kristen @ Smithspirations, Contributing Writer
Around this time of the year, a rallying cry from Christians often has to do with contending for the real meaning of Christmas. We hear and say slogans like “Jesus is the reason for the season” and “Keep Christ in CHRISTmas”, and all with good reason. I admit that I enjoy making homemade gifts, supporting home and small businesses with my purchases, and yes, even scoring a good deal from a big retailer, but all of the buying can take away from a more worshipful mindset if I’m not careful.
With children of my own, I’m much more conscious of this. My husband and I desperately want them to not just think of Christmas as a time to get presents. Of course there’s no escaping that aspect of it in the mind of a child, but we want them to know about the greater meaning. We choose to keep our gift giving modest with three gifts each. We tell them that we give them gifts because we love them, just as God gave the gift of His Son because He loves us.
Last year while opening gifts, we took breaks during the openings to read portions of the Christmas story in the Bible and sing some favorite Christmas hymns. My husband would talk a little bit about the story, perhaps ask some questions, and then we would continue on with a few more gifts. But when all of the opening was finished, we didn’t want to just leave the Christmas story there with the stable, the shepherds, and baby Jesus in the manger.
Jesus in a manger as a newborn baby is a wonderful, miraculous event. All babies are such tiny miracles, but this baby was even more so with all of the supernatural surrounding His birth. Imagine the God of the universe making Himself so humble that He came, as a helpless infant, to lay in a stable with common animals and very common people! It’s really beyond the imagination of man, and deserves all the emphasis we can give it.
However, we also want to use Christmas as an opportunity to take our children on in the story. We wanted to call their minds to remember what they’ve been taught about Jesus.
- Did He stay a baby in a manger?
- What did He do when He grew up?
- How did He save us?
- Is He still dead?
- What can He do for us now?
Yes, we want to keep Christ in Christmas, but we don’t want to leave Him in the manger in the minds of our children. We want them to see that the baby Jesus didn’t stay a baby. He grew, He healed, He taught, and He ultimately saved. We want to use Christmas as an opportunity to draw their hearts to Calvary and on to the day of Pentecost, when the same Holy Spirit that was in Christ came to dwell in the hearts of His followers. And most importantly, we want our children to know that Jesus wants to save them and fill their hearts, just as He did for those first followers.
Charles Wesley, in the famous Christmas Hymn Hark the Herald Angels Sing, put it quite well:
Hail the heav’nly Prince of Peace!
Hail the Son of Righteousness!
Light and life to all He brings,
Ris’n with healing in His wings.
Mild He lays His glory by,
Born that man no more may die.
Born to raise the sons of earth,
Born to give them second birth.
As parents, my husband and I want nothing more than to see our children drawn to the Lord and committed to serving Him. Yes, they need to know the miracle of the Christmas story and of Jesus as an infant in the manger. But more than that, Christmas is a wonderful opportunity to remind them of what Jesus did, not as a baby in a manger, but as the Savior of the world.
How do you emphasize the Christmas story in your family’s traditions? Do you ever talk to your children about Christ’s ministry, sacrifice, or salvation during Christmas?
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Written by Kristen, Contributing Writer
I like my days to be organized. I like to see a list, check things off, and know that I’ve accomplished the important tasks that need done for my day. If I can get ahead on something, well by golly, I’ll take those bonus points, too! It didn’t take me long, however, to realize that keeping my days organized can be quite challenging when I’m working with a crew of little people. Rather than beat myself up over not sticking with a schedule that is ruled by the clock, I’ve found basic daily routines to be a much better fit for me and my young family.
Why Schedules Don’t Work For Me
I’d honestly really like to get up at the same time every morning, go to bed at the same time every night, finish our homeschooling at the same time every afternoon, and have dinner ready at the same time every evening. But in real life, this just doesn’t happen for me. Why?
Babies keep me up at night, and try as I might, I don’t have the super-power of going on limited sleep for an unlimited time.
Toddlers are really good at throwing multiple curveballs, and sometimes do so with cannon balls. They are cute for a reason, and their uncanny ability to throw a day’s time table off just might be one of them!
Young children still have many needs, and I’m generally the one to meet those needs.
I’ve had to realize that my time is not my own at this stage of my life. I’m constantly setting aside the things I want to do or think I should do to take care of what my children really need for me to do, or maybe just really want me to do. I can either resent that, or work with it. I’ve decided to work with it, and organizing my day with routines instead of schedules helps me with that goal.
Routines and Schedules: What’s the Difference?
The whole concept of working with daily routines instead of schedules was first introduced to me by a mom of eight at a homeschool convention. Hearing her wisdom and experience for daily living made so much sense to me! Focusing on routine rather than schedule was one thing she really emphasized.
Schedules are run by the clock. We organize our daily activities by the time and work to meet certain deadlines throughout the day. If something isn’t finished during it’s allotted time, we can either panic, put it off for the next day, or make it up during free time.
Routines, on the other hand, allow us the flexibility to follow a typical pattern for each day and to know what is expected without keeping our eye on the clock the whole time. There is still daily accountability, but it’s combined with more freedom and less pressure. As a mom of young children, I’m continually reminded how important flexibility is!
How I Use Routine in My Home
Putting a daily routine into practice for our home has been a great help to our homeschooling days, and just life in general. My children have a good idea of what happens when and I still enjoy a level of freedom to shuffle things around, finish schoolwork whenever we are done, or serve lunch at 2pm instead of noon.
For example, I try to get up around the same time every morning. I’ve found that a key element to fitting everything into my very full homeschooling days. But I’m expecting our fifth child, and sometimes I need extra rest and simply can’t get up when I’d like to. Working with a routine allows me to sleep a little later if I really need it. That does mean our day gets off to a later start, but that’s okay.
This is another common one: the toddler morphs into Baby Destructo. Maybe it’s scrambled eggs and smoothie spilled all over the carpet again. Or maybe she dumped out multiple puzzles while I was busy somewhere else. Or perhaps she snuck into the lazy Susan in the kitchen and poured oats out all over the floor. (They’re cute for a reason, remember?) Working with a routine keeps me from fretting any more than I already am because I’m not staring at the clock and thinking about how far behind I’m getting with my day.
Truthfully, I do still watch the clock with our daily routines. I still like finishing school around the same time and having our family dinner at a consistent time. But I also try to give myself, and my children, grace to not be a slave to the ticking face on the wall.
Do you find it hard to run your day according to a strict schedule? Or are you opposite, finding schedules to work best for your family?
The post Organizing the Busy Mom’s Day with Routines Rather Than Schedules appeared first on Day2Day Joys.
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You really are enough!
Written by Jenny, Contributing Writer
There’s a recurring theme in my life, and I suspect that I’m not the only parent, or adult for that matter, who struggles with it. Feelings of inadequacy. Never being able to do enough, to be enough, to give enough, to help enough. Never being able to be everything to everyone in my life. Sound familiar? I think it’s a common thread that weaves most of us parents together.
We find out that this sweet little life is going to be entrusted to us, and we have high hopes and big plans. We want to give our children everything that we didn’t have, provide every opportunity, raise our children better than most others and never fail that sweet little life. We spend 9 months preparing to be everything that our sweet baby will need, and then reality sets in.
Sometimes we simply can’t do everything or be everything. We’re only human, we have limited resources and there are only so many hours in the day. So we don’t measure up to our own ideals, and we begin to feel as though we’re not enough for our family. Then the guilt and feelings of inadequacy begin to creep in, and we let them take over our entire lives. We can’t give our children enough stuff, we can’t give them enough time, we don’t raise them the way that we want to, and the list goes on and on.
We have to stop the cycle. You ARE enough. Your love and your commitment to your family are enough. You’re only harming yourself and your family with the constantly insecurity and feelings of inadequacy. It’s time to believe that you ARE enough. You are fearfully and wonderfully made by Christ, knit together in your mother’s womb. He made you just as He intended, and the Master doesn’t make mistakes. He uniquely equipped you to be the wife and mother that you need to be for your family. You can’t ask for anything more than that.
Scripture is divinely-inspired truth, and we can find the truth about who we truly are in the Bible.
So what does scripture say about whether or not we’re enough?
“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength”. (Philippians 4:13) He has equipped us to do everything that He has called us to do.
“It is God who arms me with strength, and makes my way perfect.” (Psalm 18:32)
“Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” (Isaiah 40:31)
Scripture clearly shows that through God, we are enough. There’s nothing that He cannot strengthen us to do, and He will never fail to equip us to fulfill His calling on our lives. He has called us to be wives and mothers, and He has given us everything that we need to be enough in our roles.
Give yourself love and grace. Rely on God to enable you to walk down His path for your life. Accept that God hasn’t called you to be the perfect wife or mother; He has only called you to be a Godly, loving wife and mother. Look to Him for help, and allow Him to be what you are not. Pray this scripture daily, and see God’s plan for who you are in Him unfold daily in your life and the life of your family.
Pray for us. We have no doubts about what we’re doing or why, but it’s hard going and we need your prayers.All we care about is living well before God. Pray that we may be together soon.
May God, who puts all things together,
makes all things whole,
Who made a lasting mark through the sacrifice of Jesus,
the sacrifice of blood that sealed the eternal covenant,
Who led Jesus, our Great Shepherd,
up and alive from the dead,
Now put you together, provide you
with everything you need to please him,
Make us into what gives him most pleasure,
by means of the sacrifice of Jesus, the Messiah.
All glory to Jesus forever and always!
Oh, yes, yes, yes. Hebrews 13:18-21 (The Message)
How can we encourage other mothers that they are enough?
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