When Dreams are Shattered

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Pounding of my heart.

I waited, waited, waited to see 2 pink lines, and as short as the long wait was, they were there.

Two lines that represented my heart’s longing, to be a mother to baby once again. My heart overfilled with joy at the sight.

My two now, grown but not too grown up, past the baby and toddler years. Now into puzzles, learning to spell b-a-t, and oh the argumentative bliss of a 5 year old boy and 3 year old girl. Excited. Excited to see them as a big brother and sister to another sweet baby.

Then it came, the crimson color we fret to see after we’ve seen those 2 pink lines. Worry. Doubt. Fear filled my heart, but I clung, clung to the hope, for what if God could save my heart from this ache that I had experienced months earlier.

But, God did not, He did not save me from this ache of loss. Why, oh God? … I screamed in my heart. My dream crushed, for what was the purpose, I clung to that defeat for months.

There is no right or wrong answer. I know I was focusing more on that dream than God’s will. God’s will becomes clear when we unravel our tight grip onto our dreams and lay them at His feet.

“Seven years ago my dream died and I discovered once all the noise faded away what I had been missing all along,” he said. “The impact that God has planned for us does not occur when we are pursuing impact. It occurs when we are pursuing God.” -Veggie Tales Creator Phil Vischer

I know what loss feels like, especially during the holidays. It just doesn’t seem fair does it?  The ones who have lost precious babies, or even sweet innocent children like this past week in Connecticut due to a horrific tragedy. The ones who’s husband’s have decided to leave. Maybe you didn’t get that promotion or you went all out and failed. Whatever it is, it’s hard when dreams are shattered.

What do we do when our dreams are shattered?

I’m no expert but these things helped me:

Prayer- No amount of time in prayer is ever enough. Being in prayer about my hurts and burdens was how I got through this. I often prayed a prayer called the worriers prayer. Goes something like this:

Time to Reflect- Reflecting on experiences is how we grow. Still to this day, even though it’s been months (and even a year) I am reflecting on how God has used these circumstances for His glory, my deepened growth with my relationship with Him and to help others. “Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.” James 4:8

I’m not to Blame- Nothing you did caused your dreams to shatter, God wasn’t mad at you nor did he want to punish you. Sometimes things happen. God is full of grace, mercy and love. “Nothing can separate us from his love.” Romans 8:39

Learning to Trust again- This is hard but a must. You see, we never had control in the first place. He is always in control but sometimes we think we are in the diver’s seat of life. Laying hurts down at His feet, letting Him lift the burden and aligning yourself in His will is how to learn to trust again.  “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not trust in your own understanding. Agree with Him in all your ways, and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

What are you struggling with, what are you not laying at His feet? Are you willing to pursue God over your heart’s dreams?


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About Rachel

Rachel is a mother to 2 children and a wife to a wellness doctor. Her passions are faith, family and health. She supports her husband in helping to change the way people look at their health and uses this blog as a tool to do that. You can find her writing about her family adventures and inspiring you to make healthier choices for your family.

Comments

  1. I’ve never had a miscarriage, but I have had over 5 years of trying (and failing) to conceive what would have been my first child. I’ve now given up, and my husband and I are going to pressure adoption in the near future. I have had a really hard time trying to accept that God isn’t punishing me for something. But His ways are not our ways, and we don’t know the plans he has for us.

  2. You have such a sweet spirit, my dear friend. Thank you for sharing your heart. God is using you.
    Praying for you, as always.

  3. Rachel, Such a hard walk. My husband and I gave a name picked out for a little girl we are waiting to have. This last was God decided to give us a boy. Just last night with tears he said he wondered if the baby we lost was Evelyn.
    We didn’t plan out last 2 pregnancies, or the first for that matter. I pray for you to have peace and faith in God’s plan and his timing.

  4. Have not have. I’m on my phone as well :)

  5. Keeping you in my prayers, dear one. Five years I spent as a young bride trying to conceive and had my first just before my 25th b-day. God is faithful to comfort us and to provide contentment in HIM. Blessings, ~Lisa :)

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  1. [...] have been answered… the research has been done for you!  After a hard past year, with a miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy, I look forward to holding another baby in my arms. (in God’s timing!!) [...]

  2. […] I think of my {many} friends who have had miscarriages, friends suffering with infertility–and the mom of my friend who went to be with Jesus at age […]

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