Amanda’s VBAC Birth Story

 

Birth Stories

Guest Post by Amanda of Attached Moms

Six years ago I became a mother. It was on that day, February 23rd, that, after a failed induction, I was rolled in to surgery, puking and shivering and became a mother.  It would be a few hours until I met my daughter but, giving birth, no matter the way, can change a person.

Within weeks of my daughter being born, my husband and I sat down and watched a movie we had put off because we didn’t want to stress right before having a baby. That movie was “Business of Being Born.”

As my daughter lay in my arms, we were consumed by the movie and at the end my husband asked, “Is this a script?” You see, all the bantering that went on in the movie, we heard. Everything from “You won’t get an award for this” to the nurses asking my husband whether or not he wanted to see me in so much pain. We heard it all. Of course, in retrospect, we should have watched it before giving birth. For a year after, perhaps even longer, my husband would tell people about the movie if he heard they were expecting. It touched him that deeply.

Preparing for a VBAC

From there on out, I researched my options. I had chosen the hospital for my daughter’s birth because it had a slightly less cesarean rate than the other hospital the practice I was with had an option for. Little did I know I’d be the only one “choosing” the less-posh hospital so the doctor on call wouldn’t visit me and instead relied on the bantering nurses to determine how I was not progressing.

The same nurses who laughed and said “you don’t think people actually use those” when I showed up for my induction with a birthing/yoga ball. I should have known then that things weren’t going to go well. The same nurses who didn’t feel my stomach at all to find that my daughter was transverse.

I decided to wait until my daughter was 2 to try for another kiddo, since statistically it meant for a higher VBAC rate.

In the end, I ended up getting pregnant a bit sooner than I had thought. My son was born 26 months and 5 days after my daughter came into the world.

I shopped around for a new doctor. My insurance didn’t accept a midwife, so I looked around. Then, someone told me a midwife overseen by an MD in the same practice was accepted, so at 23 or so weeks, I dropped my OB (one who claimed she was vbac friendly as she had a cesarean and a natural birth herself) but her questions like “what’s your shoe size” and the like just didn’t make me feel like it would happen. So, I changed and guess what, I was happy.
For the first time, someone talked to me. They told me what my chart from my daughter’s birth said. We discussed things. I tested my own urine. I was in charge and encouraged to question the norm and research what it was that was being requested of women at visits. I was told what to expect and I was told that I should prepare myself for a variety of things.

The midwives in the practice were encouraging. When the nurses at the hospital gave me the “dead baby card” when I didn’t want continuous monitoring, I was given my options, including to sign to refuse the monitoring (a few days later the hospital changed their policy and didn’t require the continuous monitoring for VBAC attemptors) and after that hour of crying and labor stopping, it started back up.

A few days of labor (26 of which in the hospital) and not too much pushing, my son was born via vaginally. Yes, I had tried staydol. Yes I requested an epidural, as I was coming on the 24 hour mark of possibly when my water broke and had had meconeum, but baby was showing fine. Not having the epidural fully take worked to my advantage as I could tell when my body wanted me to push versus having to be “told” when I was contracting. In the end, I did what my body was prepared for. I was ready for a VBAC, but I wasn’t yet confident, but I had one. Now I KNOW my body can do it and I am happy with the results.

Growing from my cesarean

My daughter’s birth helped me grow as a person. I became less trusting of authorities. I’m not sure that before I would have even thought of that to be a positive quality, but really, questioning is a good thing. Not just of doctors, but of everything we hear. We shouldn’t take things for face value. We should be inquisitive, we should want to know when/where/why and how.

birth-henna

Now, we’ve moved abroad and unsure if we’re looking at another baby for us. I consider adoption would really love to have a little snuggly baby and go through pregnancy once more, and maybe even consider a homebirth, but, again, I read a lot of statistics and know that things aren’t necessarily in our odds when it comes to health. But, if we do decide on number three, of if we have a surprise, a baby would be welcome, no matter the outcome, birth and otherwise.

So 6 years ago today, we came home from the hospital and our journey as parents began.

Have you ever had a VBAC?

Amanda McMahon is a freelance content writer who currently lives in the Mumbai, India vicinity with her husband and their two kids. Originally from Michigan, she misses the snow, but not as much as everyone seems to be getting this year. You can find her blogging at Attached Moms and, her newest venture after being amazed by the lack of transparency in schools in India.