A Plan for a Less Stress Holiday Season

Written by Lisa @ This Pilgrim Life, Contributing Writer

In parenting three small children, keeping my home, and attempting the occasional personal pursuit, I often find myself vacillating between loving my life and being overcome by the blessing of it all, and loving my life but just being plain overcome.

The days are full and busy and beautiful and FULL. And these are just the normal days.

One such normal day recently went like this: I set my alarm the night before. Actually, I set six alarms in hope that one would take. The next morning, I ignored the first five alarms but manage to roll out of bed thirty minutes before the kids woke up. This gave me the perfect amount of time to locate my pajama pants and my robe, brush my teeth, and then quietly sneak down the hall to the living room. At which point I grabbed a pre-breakfast snack and sat down to prepare for the day. Just when my mind regained the ability to maintain a coherent thought, the inevitable happened. A child wakes up.

The rest of the day is dedicated to any or all of the above: Cooking. Cleaning. Asking my children to clean.  Teaching.  Correcting/instructing/disciplining.  Crafting.  Cuddling up with my kids and a few favorite books.  Child-inspired chaos. Napping. Fighting naps. Insisting on naps. Giving up on naps. Praying for a heart that more readily accepts nap time providence. Laundry. Walks in the woods. Neglecting to mop/dust/wipe off kitchen table. Sharing meal and giggles together. Bedtime bliss.

If the normal days are sometimes enough to overwhelm me recently, then the days that are swiftly coming are sure to push me over the proverbial edge if I don’t have a plan.

A Plan for a Less-Stress Holiday Season

The biggest holidays of the year are coming. Thanksgiving will be here in less than two weeks and with it comes the Christmas season.

I love this season. I love the music and the cinnamon candles. I love the stockings hung on the mantle lit up by the warm glow of a fire. I love twinkle lights and fragrant wreaths and presents under the tree. I love cookies. I love remembering every day how the whole Bible points to the one central message of a Redeemer coming to Earth for a needy people.

A Plan for a Less-Stress Holiday Season

There is so much to love about this season. There is also so much that begs for our attention, our time, and our resources.

I’m as susceptible as anyone when it comes to overfilling my plate and our family’s schedule. I’m also prone to the common tendencies of doubting my decisions and struggling with the comparison trap.

But this year I have a plan to avoid both of those ditches.

My husband and I have come up with a family purpose statement for the holidays. We want to approach the upcoming weeks with intentional purpose and not random chance. There is so much potential for beauty and meaning in the weeks from Thanksgiving to the New Year. But we will miss it if we are preoccupied stressing out over gifts or calendars filled with too many “good” things.

We purpose to make this season about knowing Jesus more fully, loving others more intentionally, and creating memories together in our simply decorated home.

Our purpose statement is the filter through which we will decide what things we will do and what things we will pass up. We can’t make all the cookies or see all the lights or do all the crafts. A few invitations will likely be politely declined. If something doesn’t help to get us to our purpose, then we don’t do it. And all of those good things that compete for our attention? Well, we will pick a few that fit and not worry about the rest.

This means less stress and no guilt.

I will be free from the guilt of wondering if my kids are missing out by not doing something that another family is because I know that we are doing is serving our simple goal. And we can’t go wrong by simply seeking to love Jesus and each other.

A Plan for a Less-Stress Holiday Season

Tips for writing your own holiday purpose statement and keeping a less stress approach to the season:

  • Start with the big picture. What is the single most important thing you want your family to remember about the season? Make sure that the majority of what you do reflects this goal.
  • Talk about favorite childhood memories with your spouse. Is there something in particular that stands out? Pick one tradition each that you might consider carrying on with your own kids.
  • Have you already started a special tradition with your family? New Christmas pajamas on Christmas Eve? Filling Operation Christmas Child boxes or Voice of the Martyrs Action Packs? Gingerbread houses made with care and decorated with friends? Whatever it is, make plans to do it together this year too.
  • Remember that your family is unique. Your plan should reflect your family’s priorities and interests, not your neighbor’s.
  • Make a holiday planner that is accessible to the whole family. We usually draw out a calendar for the week of Thanksgiving on and put all of the family’s activities on it. This way we can intentionally choose how many activities we want to take us out of our home and make sure we are spending time with those important to us.

What is one tradition that you do every year as a family?

About Lisa

Lisa is married to her best friend and has three inquisitive and energetic kids. She loves crafty things like sewing and painting and actually enjoys cooking with her kids, and making crackers and pasta from scratch. In the busy fullness of life with young children, Lisa strives to live faithfully, remembering the hope of the gospel in all the everyday things. She blogs about a "pilgrim life", living in grace now and waiting for a more permanent, eternal home at thispilgrimlife.com.

Comments

  1. This is great. It’s kinda sad that such a season meant to cherish and appreciate the things we have gets turned into chaos, stress, and guilt if we let it. ”

    What a wonderful plan. I intend to do the same thing!

  2. Great article! My mum usually gets a bit stressed before xmas holidays and I think your tips will definitely help her to chill a bit more 🙂

  3. Love this! I was just thinking about this and talking to my hubs the other night. I don’t want my child to think this season is all about something it’s not. How to enjoy some gift giving, yet remember Christ’s birth. I think I will write out my own plan for how to make this a memorable time that is focused on the right things. Thanks, Rachel.

    -Rama

  4. This is so good! Stress is not worth it. 🙂

  5. Love these tips. I love the simple family traditions and not overdoing it. Stress isn’t worth it.

  6. Good plan. Less stress and NO guilt. That’s a road map I can follow.

  7. I used to get completely freaked out a few days before christmas and that was fun for exactly no one! I am much more laid back about the holidays now and have learned to do less and be happier!

  8. Such great tips. I really love making December a very quiet month. I live for it all year. Also – your comments on the naps. fighting naps. giving up on naps etc…dying over here 🙂 Same thing 😉

  9. I like your emphasis on simple decorating. It’s easy to become caught up among friends in having a really cutely decorated house. It is controlling and misses the point, especially while we have young children. I appreciate how intentional you are being. I’m sure you’ll have a lovely Christmas of being together with the right focus.

Trackbacks

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